My watermelon
The skin looked hard as a crunchy lollies
Mrs Gomm slices the watermelon open it sounded like a
zipper going up and down.
zipper going up and down.
The sweet delicious tastes of watermelon make want to eat
watermelon all of the time.
watermelon all of the time.
I hear the sounds of crunching when I bite into the watermelon.
It tasted like a watery pear that has just fallen of a tree.
Can you please make sure you read the whole writing piece all over again because their are some pieces that don't make sense and I really like how you made the reader know what it smells and feels like.
ReplyDeletehay Harata its Patience i just finished reading your writing
ReplyDeletei really like how you used a lot of adjectives one thing i think you need to do is read your writing to make sure it makes sense but other than that its very good :]